Avid readers will have noticed that over the last few weeks my blog has been down. Usually when this happens its because I've been working on some big client viral or I've been taking part in a threesome - I'm either getting paid for doing something I don't like doing or paying for something I actually like to do. There's a bit of give and take.
However, this was not the case recently - the PR industry took and took my ideas and good grace without a thing in return. Over the last 15 mins or so, Paul Armstrong (some of you may know him as @fuckingmonkey) and I have been working on an infographic which we hope will revolutionise the PR industry. Granted we are not the first people to do this, in fact we are not even the ninth or tenth, but by golly we will change the way you wipe your arse or I'll be damned.
So imagine my surprise when our charitable team were asked to present our completely selfless (it's for the good of the industry remember? Ben Matthews can suck my balls - there's a new do gooder in town) proposition at SoCal. We stood there spreading our love seeds over the faces of the audience, hoping that everyone will provide feedback for our lovingly created infographic. It's crowdsourcing innit?
Unfortunately, absolutely no one gave a shit.
So @fuckamonkey had an idea: he would use his crappy column in PR Week which exactly eight people read to challenge the PR industry to provide feedback and discuss the infographic. We all genuinely believe that the infographic is such a work of art that anyone who sees it will literally jizz their pants hence we were seriously considering outing on our blog any PR agency that did not discuss the infographic externally (no doubt they would be talking about it in their staff meetings).
Despite the fact that the link to the Slideshare presentation doesn't work properly and secondly, the writings so incredibly small to the point of unreadable. Despite all this you ungrateful little piss sacks in the PR industry should have discussed our glorious infographic. Even Litman who fucking loves commenting on a sack of salt and pisses himself when he sees an infographic would rather stay at home and scratch his balls.
Well I've had enough. I thought I would share some of my expertise creating FourSquare check-in campaigns in the ad industry to help you mother fuckers in the PR industry. But not anymore. And I hope from Paul's email to you all made you feel shitty about yourself. For those of you who didn't receive the spammy call to arms (and not at all twattish or spammy) email from @monkeyfuck here it is. (it's like a bitchy Winston Churchill but instead of stirring you to fight for your country, your children and the fate of the world, he's asking you to comment on his blog). I won't disclose the email address of those 'pitched' but my maths tells me there are around 100 people on that list.
From: Paul Armstrong
*** Please do not reply all ***
I’m disillusioned (yes, more than normal).
Not one of you have commented on SoTech infographic thus far.
This makes me sad and considering we all make our rents based on this stuff I expect you to have an opinion.
It’s open season. Rip it, me, the idea to shreds. Have NO decency. I want it to be better. I want us (as an industry) to be better.
It is not perfect. It’s a start. How would YOU improve it?
http://www.sotechnow.com
Danke.
Paul.
MORE HERE: http://community.prweek.com/blogs/firehose/archive/2010/10/04/if-you-are-quot-in-quot-social-media-you-need-to-read-this-and-comment-or-get-out-of-social-media.aspx
Paul is very angry, why else would he completely ignore all the rules of blogger outreach and make him self look like an arrogant tit to try get us all to comment on a shitty blog post about a shitty infographic? Even people like Neville Nevlin Hobson (Hobbo to mates like me) wouldn't get away with an email like this.
Despite this, I find that not one more person has commented on the blog! Were you offended by the email or something?!It was MEANT to shock you into looking into your own heart and seeing how much of a loser you are.
I'm not going to beg you to comment any more. We are here working my balls off trying to rerrange the PR industry so we can compete with the ad world. It's not like there are new, better done infographics released every week or anything.
You should comment for your own good. Do it or fuck off from social media. And bring Danny Whathisface from Wildfire with you.
You should comment for your own good. Do it or fuck off from social media. And bring Danny Whathisface from Wildfire with you.
